THINGS YOU LEARN LIVING ALONE

I know people who absolutely hated living in a hostel and also the people who loved it completely; I’m the latter.

I believe that for anyone it’s very important to live alone once in their life at least if it’s not possible longterm. The things you learn about yourself and the world cannot be taught just by telling; a person has to experience them in order to evolve and come out more wiser than before. this is also why people used to say that travelers are wise because when you go on journeys on your own, you learn so much more when you take that risk of going into the world alone.

People ask me a lot why i decided to stay in a hostel for two years even though my own house was 50 minutes away, i dont hesitate in explaining the reasons because i think it’s something more people should experience in Pakistan. I’ve noticed that in our society it’s not encouraged for anyone to venture towards anything alone; may it be traveling or living alone or anything, people generally frown upon a guy or a girl not living with their parents even if they’re 30 years old. It’s a very unhealthy cultural norm that i think hold people back from developing their personalities and being independent. Without actually being on your own its very difficult to develop your sense of independence and practical skill sets like being responsible on your own, handling money on your own, basically doing everything on your own which is why people in Pakistan are more prone to taking stupid decisions even in adulthood because as a child every decision was made for them so when it comes to their own children they only know that they have to take their decisions but not HOW to take decisions. it’s not a hereditary skill ( decision making and being rational in general ) it’s a learned skill which needs to be taught throughout life. our children should have that sense of responsibility rather than running to their parents to make their decisions for them every time.

That’s why i decided to make this post so more people can realize that your children going off to a hostel or living alone is not them abandoning you; they’re just preparing for real life. ( come on people! even birds kick out their children when they can fly, pakistani hotay birds tou sari umer chaltay he rehtay parents say pooch kay galli mai zada door tak nai, wahan tak jahan tak nazar aye)

Here you go, hope you enjoy the post.

  • You learn How to Handle Finances

I got a minor pocket money with which i had to manage my whole month. when you’re at home worse comes to it you can always ask your mom for some extra cash at the risk of being scolded but when you’re alone you learn how to manage without that safety net. you actually learn to make decisions like is this khaadi ka kurta worth skipping a meal for or saving up for instead of going to your mom and asking her to buy it for you.  You learn how to use that 1000 pkr for an entire week and how to spend 10,000 pkr in a day.  Its one of the most important practical skill you can learn as a person.

  • You learn Responsibility for your own actions

Its such a comfort to ask your mother if you can go with your friends and let her worry about the details of how you will get there how you will come back and in case of emergency you can just call her to inform her to come to get you while you sit and wait for reinforcements to arrive, however when you are living alone you know everything is totally up to you. You experience how to handle situations without calling mommy and daddy and with time you learn how to not get into trouble.  You cant ask someone mai wahan jaon ya na jaon you have to take that decision yourself and then accept whatever may come.

  • You learn that you dont have to be blood-related to be a family.

when you get sick and your friend checks up on you every few hours, makes you soup and tea that’s when you know being alone and being lonely are two different things, you will be doing the same when they get sick, its a support system. i remember me and my friend were broke af, she only had a thousand rupees left while i had nothing; she told me we both have 500 rupees and 1 week to go guzara ho he jai ga. you find a support system that is very hard to come by.

  • You find Religion

This doesn’t apply to everyone though, it applies to people who have a habit of getting irritated by people asking you to do something over and over again. when there is no one to tell you to go pray, you do it yourself only because you feel the lack of pushing.

In other words, it brings out the real side of your religiousness. with the breathing space, you decide how much you want to be religious yourself without an influence. I’ve seen people praying 5 times a day only to not pray even once when they shift back home. it’s a weird mystery.

  • You Make Memories

Those 4 am philosophical discussions with tea on the rooftop; that’s something you never forget.

  • You Learn How to Share

Its funny how living in a hostel teaches you how to share, you have two instant noodle packets and someone comes knocking at 3 am asking for one, you just know not to say no to someone when they need it.

  • You Become less fussy

Someone will always do the things you cannot stand, someone will always leave the toothpaste uncaped or leave the door open; you cannot yell forever so you learn to live with it.

  • You learn the art if cooking just about anything in a microwave

From cakes to pasta, you figure out how to satisfy your cravings with only a microwave at your disposal.

  • You make Friends for Life

Living in a hostel gave me an opportunity to bond and make friends that i know are my family. they can be from across the country or across the planet but the years you’ve shared will always be cherished.

 

I can go on and on but these are the things you learn when you pack up your bags and go to live in a hostel for a few years and come out better, stronger and wiser.